What to say when someone assumes you're still pregnant

What to say when someone assumes you're still pregnant

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"When's the baby due?" asked the guy in the white apron. Unfortunately, I wasn't pregnant – I'd given birth a few days earlier.

In a perfect world, the nice young man would have assumed I was postpartum rather than pregnant. But folks who haven't lived it usually have no idea that a woman's body can still look pregnant long after the delivery. The naked truth is that maternity clothes come in handy long after due dates have come and gone.

For new moms, this is a recipe for awkward encounters. "You'll have your hands full soon," a matronly woman sings out at the grocery store. "Boy or girl?" asks the cable guy. "There's a baby in there!" yells a 4-year-old at the bank.

It can be tricky to know how to respond. Should you be direct or apologetic? Kind or cutting? It's up to you, but here are a few suggestions to get you started:

The straightforward response

Using a calm, level voice, simply say, "I'm not pregnant," "I'm not expecting," or "The baby was already born."

Penny Richards, a mom of two, puts a spin on this by saying cheerfully, "Nah, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat." The straightforward response may make the other person uncomfortable, but is that your responsibility? Nope!

The charitable response

If the commenter seems kind – and if you're in a sympathetic mood – you may want to throw them a bone. "I usually say, 'Actually, I just gave birth…but my body doesn't realize that yet,'" says Erika Marcus, a mom of three.

The charitable response is definitely the way to go if the offender is a child. Wendy Albano remembers being at the pool with her 4-month-old when a small girl exclaimed, "You have one baby in your arms and another baby in your tummy!"

"I don't have a baby in my tummy. It just looks like I do," Wendy answered kindly. The child's mother went on to explain to her daughter that a mommy's tummy does a lot of stretching when there's a baby inside it.

The educational response

Maybe it's time to set the record straight on the realities of post-baby bellies and the amazing shrinking uterus. Try: "I already gave birth. But I still look pregnant because it takes time for a woman's body to adjust after nine months of growing a baby."

Or you may want to go into more detail: "See, the uterus is an amazing organ. Normally the size of a pear or a fist, it can grow to the size of a watermelon in pregnancy. To get back to its original size, it needs to contract – a process that takes weeks. But the abdominal area often takes longer than this to shrink back …" See how long it takes for your commenter's eyes to glaze over.

The avoidant response

When you're just not in the mood to explain, avoid. This requires some quick thinking and a handy escape route. One brand-new mom and dad were walking up their driveway when a neighbor spotted them and called, "When are you going to have that baby?" "Saturday," the father called back, letting the screen door close gently behind him. The baby had arrived the previous Saturday – so it wasn't technically a lie, was it?

Vagueness is another good strategy. For example, in response to the due-date question, look distracted and say, "Any day now!" Then hustle to the nearest exit.

Finally, you can pull the superstition card and say, "I prefer not to talk about that. It's bad luck." (Stage whisper the last part and you may find that you don't need to beat a hasty retreat – the other person will be slinking away shamefaced.)

The snarky response

Maybe the asker is being extra annoying, or maybe you're hormonal and sleep-deprived. One way to be snarky is to just tell the truth – the straightforward response with a bit of edge. For example, when someone demands to know your due date, stare them down and say, "Seven weeks ago, actually."

Want something more cutting? Here's a suggestion from Kara, a mom of three: "My OB once said he never assumes a woman is pregnant until he sees a head coming out. Maybe you should do the same."

Watch the video: 40 Weeks Pregnant. What To Expect (June 2022).


  1. Silviu

    I am sorry that I cannot participate in the discussion now. I don't have the information I need. But this topic interests me very much.

  2. Hatim

    Yes, it’s not so bad. Though .......

  3. Slevin

    I beg your pardon, this does not suit me. Are there other variations?

  4. Walter

    I saw it by chance. Not expected.

  5. Meztizuru

    really fly away! we look forward to the release and will rock it !!!!!!

  6. Yole

    I think it's - your mistake.

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